I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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