well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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