3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
