At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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