I'm really into asian looking animals
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You were trust falling into bushes
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
