It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
