take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
