Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
