As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
