READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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