fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
