ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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