What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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