Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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