yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
