I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
