Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
