We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
