I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
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He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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