He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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