Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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