Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
