it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
