i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
