I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
