I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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