New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I smell like Dick and happiness