"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on