No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
