My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
