Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
