They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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