She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
