I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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