Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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