did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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