when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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