so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize