i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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