i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
