If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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