even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
