Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
