I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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