you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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