I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
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And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
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Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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