I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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