this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
