the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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