i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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