Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
