C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
