i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
