I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The best revenge is premature balding
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize