Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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