Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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