so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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