I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Bring me that man meat
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
