I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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