we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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