I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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