and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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