She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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